I Fell in Love with Music

Maybe she's born with it.

I don’t know that I could tell you WHEN it happened. It just did.

It’s almost as if I came out of the womb making music. And perhaps, all of us do. But for someone born to two musicians, it was likely just bound to happen.

The truth is, I don’t remember a life without music. The earliest photos my parents gave me from growing up had me seated at a piano on a thick book, barely able to hold myself up. Or a few years later, riding a plastic horse with a toy trumpet in my hands.

Sometimes music just happens. (And some may argue, that it does for all of us in different ways.)

Music is life itself.

— Louis Armstrong

But what now?

After years of training, classes, lessons, two degrees, and countless ventures, I sit differently with the pondering thought about how these gifts are best utilized.

I never did fit in a box. It was if I was simply conditioned to initially know that I would do something with music, but no idea on actually where that came from. Throughout my bachelor’s and master’s degrees, I performed because . . . well. . . I guess I can now only make guesses as to why.

I absolutely LOVED the way it felt to embark on the journey. And even amidst the immense trauma I experienced throughout the journey, sitting and performing Debussy? Feeling as if I’m transported into a French gateway and pondering the landscapes of Impressionism? For me, it was simply unmatched. And partly probably also the reason I could sit in a museum and stare at Monet paintings for hours on end. . . lost and yet found all in one magnificent sitting.

But music, don't you know, is a dream from which the veils have been lifted. It's not even the expression of a feeling, it's the feeling itself.

— Claude Debussy

I'll continue to share.

I guess what I’m saying is this: I don’t have to know where it’s all going. That portion of anxiety and attempt to control? I’m simply uninterested in it these days.

I’ll continue to explore.

I’ll continue to share. And now, with words added. And doing this? Well – – – doing this for me and only me. Because at this point in my life, being driven from internal desires, rather than external forces, is perhaps the most freeing portion of my healing journey to date.

I can’t wait to share with you: words and music and longing and vision, all driven by the whim that creatively resides in my heartspace.